What's six-foot, has red hair, and looks like the product of a Howdy Doody/Julia Roberts love affair? You got it: a sick, twisted me. Deemed a freak of nature by all those who have grown to love me, I have this vision of me becoming a frumpy old maid. Now, my first thoughts for a web page were, "Ooo, pornography!" but better judgement set me against it. I mean, I really wouldn't want to see ME naked, so how could I expect the few poor souls who stumble across my rambling page to want to see it, either?

I grew up in this really dinky town named Correctionville (sorry to disappoint you folks, but no prisons here!). To try and escape a town where cats and dogs outnumber the human poplulation, I decided to attend the University of Iowa in Iowa City. Ultimately, I hope to graduate with a double major in journalism and marketing. Don't tell my mother, but I believe I'm on the five-year plan.

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